5/28/10
No matter how you slice this week, it was depressing. So depressing in fact I had a major meltdown at work. Amazingly enough no one has asked for my resignation - yet. But the worse news is that right now I am on the receiving end of hugs, pats on the back and sorrowful looks.
Who do I have to blame for this? Myself. When all I want is my life back. I want to be living at home, not in a apartment. I want to be able to focus on work. I want to quit worrying about money, colors, flooring, french doors, balloon framing, lead paint and new abatement laws.
Every day I visit our once-cute little house and want to weep. Our house is being demolished. Okay, so I knew it was coming. I just didn't expect it to hit me so hard.
A house is just a thing. It is not a person. It is not irreplaceable. Losing a house is not a major catastrophe. But for some reason I am reacting like it is. Normally I like me. Just not this week.
We've got pills for everything else. Why don't we have 'act like an adult' medication? I'm sure some of you know someone else besides just me, who could use it.
Nancy, it's not easy dealing with change, especially when it's your home being demolished. Give yourself a break. Literally. Go to the beach, the mountains, Starbucks to write or shopping that has nothing to do with the house, to get your mind off the fact that you're dealing with a life-changing event.
ReplyDeleteHugs!!
I'm sorry! You know I'm going to hug you, whether you want it or not, but in this one instance, let me do what I do best...put my arms around you, and look to the future. Your house is special because you and Dan are so welcoming. It...and you WILL welcome your friends and family again. And, when you open the doors, we will all oooh and ahhh at the beauty and comfort that will come out of this disaster. Let yourself grieve, then as Dar says, give yourself a break. Come sit in the middle of my construction and write. I welcome you with open arms and a smile for what's to come :)
ReplyDeleteGiant hugs!
A house may be a physical thing BUT what you are grieving is the displacement from HOME.
ReplyDeleteHome is not a place or structure, it is the foundation of where and how you live your life. {{{{HUGGS}}}}